Dealing with Others’ Transitions While You Stand Still

An unsettling feeling washed over me the other day when I got the news that an ex of mine had recently gotten married (another one is still a newlywed). The feeling wasn’t really about them, they’re nice guys who deserve happiness in their lives; the feeling was an unsettling feeling about my life.  I felt two different things: one, that something’s happened in my life and I contributed nothing to it, and two, that I feel like I’m not moving when I should be.

Something happens when someone you know has a life-changing event, and you’re stuck in transition. You feel like you should be the one moving on to “bigger and better things,” after all you are in a life-changing period. Know that change has rates. Some changes are instant; some take time, most are unpredictable. We just have to ride the wave.

Our life journeys are our own. Just because someone else is changing, it doesn’t mean that we should be. And it doesn’t mean that you’re not moving forward either. We should never measure our life paths with anyone else’s. Our lives are as unique as our DNA. We can’t get caught up in comparison.

We don’t always have to contribute to everyone’s happiness and fulfillment, and they will not always contribute to yours. Change will happen whether we have anything to do with it or not. Focus on what you can control: adaptation, attitude, and resilience. Anything outside of that shouldn’t concern you. Save your worries for yourself.

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